Pet Loss Grief Support
Through Love and Loss, They Will Always be a Part of UsHelping you heal after losing a pet
The 6 Myths About Grief
We learn how to react to loss from the time we are young. Think back to the things you might have heard or observed when you’ve lost a pet in the past. If you can, especially try to remember a pet loss from when you were a child.
What did the adults around you say about loss or death? How did the adults behave? As we grow, we follow these patterns. Many of the coping suggestions are unhelpful or hurtful. The six listed here are the most common myths.
1. Don't Feel Bad
It is estimated that by the time a child grows into an adult, they have been told this phrase over 20,000 times. Isn’t it interesting that it has never made any of us feel better? We have a range of emotions, from happy to sad, and need to be able to express them all.
2. Replace the Loss
After we hear the first myth, we often hear something like, “We’ll get you a new puppy”. We then learn to follow this pattern in many other areas of our life. After a breakup, a well meaning friend might advise us to jump back into the dating pool right away, instead of waiting to heal.
3. Grieve Alone
Do you remember being upset and crying as a child? If so, you may also remember being told to go to your room, until you were better. Unfortunately, this teaches us not to share our sad feelings. It leaves us feeling we are only allowed to share positive, happy feelings.
4. Time Heals All Wounds
If that were the case, we’d all be healed by now, right? We may adapt to a loss, but we are often left wishing there had been more time, or things could have been better or different.
5. Be Strong - Be Strong For Others
Many people hide their feelings—at least those that might be visible, such as tears and other displays of emotion. The problem lies in pushing away and covering up emotions connected to the death of someone important to us.
6. Keep Busy
Staying busy can keep your mind occupied. Being physically active can sometimes help you fall asleep easier. The problem is that we can’t always stay busy. At some point, you will need rest. During or after an activity filled day, you will experience a moment of stillness or quiet. It is then you realize that staying busy doesn’t lessen your pain. It just delays it.
If you belong to any pet loss groups or online forums, you’ve definitely heard or read the heartbreaking comments people express after they’ve experienced a pet loss. The comments run from one end of the spectrum to the other. It doesn’t matter if the person experienced a loss last week or last year. The pain from the pet’s death often lingers for what seems like forever.
Sure, maybe you’re like I was, and
you’ve been able to push those painful feelings down. Maybe you’ve begun to get through the day without constantly grieving your pet. And maybe you’ve been successful in not sobbing everyday.
Let me assure you, this isn’t the way to live. You don’t have to suffer through the sadness, guilt, loneliness, or pain. Waiting for the hurt to heal itself isn’t going to help. Taking action toward healing is the only way to begin to heal.
Lester is a neighborhood cat. I inherited him when I bought my house. I’ve taken care of him for years. The first winter, I even built a house for him when the weather turned cold.
I unsuccessfully tried to tame him. Lately, I noticed he was moving a lot slower. A few days ago, he didn’t show up for breakfast. After three days, I began asking around. No one has seen him. I’m crushed. I know he wasn’t “my” cat, but I miss him so much. I’ve hung posters, but I don’t have much hope he’ll come back.
– Jasmine
Bugle was my husband’s dog. I honestly never wanted a dog. After my husband died, I didn’t know what to do with Bugle. I guess I kept him out of duty. We both mourned my husband.
Five years after my husband was gone, Bugle was diagnosed with cancer. When he died six months ago, I thought I would die myself. I haven’t stopped crying. He was my best friend.
– Alice
Yesterday, one of my hunting buddies said to me, “It was an accident. It’s already been two weeks! Aren’t you over it yet? She was just a dog.”
He just doesn’t get it. Sadie wasn’t just a dog. She was the best dog. She was there for me during my divorce. She was there for me when my dad died. I feel lost without her.
– Jim
About the Pet Loss Program
You can select from a 1:1 format or a group setting. Either way, the program is pet loss specific. If you select the group format, you will be surrounded by others who have also lost pets, and understand the depth of that kind of emotional pain.
This approach allows you to work with a Grief Recovery Method Specialist, certified and trained by The Grief Recovery Institute, for six consecutive weeks. Each of these six meetings will last roughly two hours.
Your Specialist will take you through each step of the Grief Recovery Method, utilizing the materials spelled out in “The Grief Recovery Handbook For Pet Loss.”
What You Can Expect
While you may come into this program with a specific loss in mind, your Specialist will lead you through the process of looking at all the pet losses that have touched you throughout your life, so that you can focus on the one that has impacted you to the greatest degree.
Even if you choose to work in a group setting, your personal focus will be on dealing with your specific and personal loss.
The 1:1 and group programs include a weekly commitment to total honesty and absolute confidentiality, so that you can comfortably share your feelings.
Each week, you will be responsible for reading a few chapters from the handbook. There will also be a short homework assignment.
Some weeks may be easier or more difficult than others. We encourage you to commit wholeheartedly to the work. Your specialist will be there to support you through each step.
Your attendance is very important. As with all endeavors, the effort you put into the program will reflect what you get out of the program.
You are invited to schedule a free 20-minute consultation, so we can become acquainted. You can ask more about the grief support program and see if we would be a good fit to work together.
You Don't Have to Wait Any Longer.
